Bethanie's Brain

I like my space. I like it red and dark, quiet, because there is no one else here to speak, loud, because I have the music up as far as it will go, messy, because my children have been here, clean, because they've gone again. I like the way the stain on the bookcases I bought matches the stain of the wood on the floors. I like the way my books look when they're out of their boxes. I like the things I nailed to the walls wherever I wanted to without having to ask anybody if it was OK to put them there. I like having no TV and a good espresso machine and excellent beer and my clothes put away. I like that I fixed the doorbell by myself and rearranged the den four times before I was happy with it. I like that I'm here by myself but not lonely. I like it a lot. .

Someone sent me a thing Ann Landers said -- about people who drown their sorrows forgetting that sorrow knows how to swim. It made me laugh. Yeah, I know. It wasn't meant to. But I'm a bitchin' swimmer. Way better than sorrow ever hoped to be. Way better. No, seriously. I am. I get suffering. I've been there: 4th grade: All the way home (I was a walker), some jackass and his buddy making machine gun sounds at me, because they found out my family was German. (I had no idea what the hell they were doing or why, but for the very first time, I understood that being German wasn't the awesomest thing ever.) 7th grade: Gym class. Er...I don't actually need to go into detail, right? 9th grade: Another jackass, a different jackass from the 4th grade jackass (I assume), this one spit on me. Other jackasses called me names for no reason (well, other than I wasn't tall and blond and beautiful) or felt free to call out insults about what I was wearing or had done to ...

I suppose I should have seen this coming. I'm a loner. Always have been. Unlike most people, it isn't actually possible for me to have more than one or two good friends at a time. I just can't manage it. I need to be alone, because it makes me quite insane, if I am forced not to be. So that's the good part of divorce. I will get the alone time on a regular basis, whether I need it that week or not. The rest of it, at this point, however, is a big ball of pain and failure. The failure, in the end, is the worst part for me. I don't fail at things. Ever. And to have failed at this -- arguably one of the most important bits of one's life -- is inexcusable, abominable, and so completely, fucking frustrating , that I don't even have the words really. The pain, on the other hand, I can deal with. If you've ever read Dune , you'll remember the "litany agaist fear". I don't remember the exact words (and I can't find my fucking book to loo...

1. The door locks are genetic. (*eyepop!!!*) 2. "Ich bin im Wasser verbrannt...." (hmmmm....) .

So the brilliantly funny/entertaining posts that are the NaNo forums have already begun. Yaay! One of my favorites is "How 'Impossible' is your Novel?" , in which the original poster has challenged WriMo's to name 6 impossible things in their novel. Naturally, it took me about 5 minutes to come up with mine.... The entire human race abandoned the dying, uninhabitable Earth in huge space ships jetisoned off to each of the known (and hopefully) habitable extra-solar planets. Faster-than-light-speed space travel!!! :D The main female character is stronger than any man. Also, she has fangs. However, she is NOT a vampire!! 8-D Her people biologically engineered themselves to survive the nasty not-so-habitable-for-humans planet they ended up on (the fangs are part of that, see? :). And, yanno, that's just for starters. And before I've even begun writing. And they're even somewhat believible! Just wait til NaNo actually starts. I'm sure I'll be back ...

So a while back, kick-ass authoress Holly Lisle , in her fantastic newsletter, mentioned something about multi-tasking as a writer. Not in those words exactly, but what she was getting at (paraphrasing here...) was: 'don't work on more than one project at once'. Or at least, if you're serious-writing on one project, don't be serious-writing on another at the same time. World building on another project and/or final polish-editing on another project (i.e., max: 3 projects at once) is probably managable (if-and-only-if you MUST). And I thought: 'is she serious'?? Because I am a many-many projects at once sorta gal. At least I thought I was. But then I got to thinking and it sorta started making sense. When you're serious-writing on a project, you're immersed in that project's world. You live it. You breathe it. If you're a bit of a method-writer like me, you become your characters and take on their personalities from time to time in your r...

Testing this blogging via email thing, because while i would prefer to post updates from China to Facebook (because it's easy and I'm lazy...), ye ol' FB is blocked in China. So no FB...and that will be no fun for the folks back home who will worry about where we are and what we're doing, so.... this is a Test of Alternative Updates Method # 1.... Let us hope it works.... .

So the plan for MayNo is to complete An Actual Revision and in order to do that -- and because I know myself all too well -- I know I have to break that overarching goal down into small, quantifiable steps, things I can formulate into a Grand To Do list and tick off one by one. Without that, I will get sidetracked and bogged down and Go. Nowhere. Which will piss me off. And will piss Dorothy off. And will make Inge very, very freakin' happy, because she hates mucking around with MY writing. That's very uncomfortable for her and she would really rather tear to shreds somebody else's writing. Thank goodness dear Inge isn't in charge and I am.... heh... Anyway, below is The Grand and Wonderful Plan that I came up with this evening to achieve my MayNoWriMo Goal. I even put time limits on each major step so that I have mini-deadlines in the midst of the Grand Deadline of May 31st. We'll see how it works. I'm a little worried about not setting an upper limit on the ...

Trying to decide what, exactly, I'm going to do for MayNoWriMo. My first inclination is, of course, to jump into that new thing and just run with it --bang out 50K in a month, even though I still don't know its ending. In other words: my usual. I'm thinking, though, that that isn't probably what I should do. For one thing, I already know I can do that. I've done it 6 or 7 times now -- enough times that I've actually lost count, which means.... Probably, what I should do is something I've never done: Finish. Something. Well, maybe not finish-finish... but, at least, Get Through. Yeah, Get Through would be great. In fact, in the interest of creating an actually-attainable-though-challenging, goal, I should be quite specific: Get. Through. A. Revision. There. It's in writing. I think I'll do that weird fairy ring thing that came out of nowhere in the middle of December when I had 900 other things to do. It didn't totally suck when I read through i...

So the FANTASTIC Joely Sue is instigating and organizing MayNoWriMo, a writing-project extravaganza of the NaNoWriMo variety. And I'm so pleased, because the whole script writing thing just isn't happening for me. Like at all. Like, I'm still on Page-Fucking-1. I could blame the foreign formatting thing. I could blame the as-usual-IN-FUCKING-SANE Evil Day Job. I could blame the county's timing of Spring Break during the first 2 weeks of April.... But I won't. The fault is all mine and all the fact that I can't seem to connect with my characters unless I get to Be. In. Their. Heads. And let them spew their innermost thoughts, desires, urges, and unpleasantness through my fingertips. That's where it's at, apparently. At least, for me. So I'm frikkin' bouncing in my seat about MayNo! Because the alternative was to wait and world build (a.k.a. procrastinate) until fucking November. Hallelujah! .

So I'm trying to prepare for this Script Frenzy thing and, apparently, certain aspects of screenplay writing are going to be no different from novel writing for me. That is, I'm up against the same old brick wall: I've got great characters, I've got a fabulous, far-out setting, I've got absolutely No Plot. OK, I'm exaggerating. Slightly. There's an inkling of Plot. There's a beginning of one in that my characters want something (each other) and can't possibly have it without risking their lives and the lives of everyone they care about. There's even a real, nasty bad guy this time. And here I am: Stuck and No Idea what to do with them now. Aaargh. So. Frustrating. .

Learned something new the other day while editing a client's manuscript. I love that. I ran across this sentence: The Mann-Whitney test was performed to identify genes whose expression was altered during allergen exposure. I stopped short at "whose", thinking "WHAT?! 'whose' should refer to a person, right? A 'gene' is not a person. I need to fix this." Unable to come up with a rewording that I liked, I went looking for an alternative to 'whose'. Strunk and White had nothing to say on the matter. Likewise, the 9th Edition of the AMA Style Guide. Stymied, I turned to Google. (When Strunk & White fail you, what else is there, right?) And I found Grammar Girl ! Grammar Girl had this excellent explanation of why 'whose' is, in fact, perfectly fine. Shakesphere used it this way. So did Milton. I won't bore you with repeating what Grammar Girl has already explained well, but the gist of it is: English doesn't have a relative...

I think I've figured out part of the reason for my writing slump of the past year. OK, aside from the ridiculous idea of going back to school and taking actual classes for actual college credits (which was a well-worth-it but miserable experince). And aside from the full time job, two kids, freelance business, house, and husband. My car sucked. No, really. I hated it. And that's a bad, bad thing if your muse lives in your car like mine does. Oh, fine, laugh all you like, but she does. I don't know why, but she likes to sit behind me when I'm driving (and obnoxiously cranking my tunes) and whisper in my ear about worlds, weapons, and wonderment. Not sure if it's the motion, the tunes, or what, but she likes it there, and when I'm stuck on a character or plot, that's where I go to to get unstuck. And having to drive a car that I grew to actively hate made that impossible, since I spent most of my time in the car cussing at it (and its utter inability to accele...

by Cindy Lynn Speer A beautifully sweet story (pun unashamedly intended). OK, leaving aside the fact that anything having to do with chocolate is almost automatically certain to be a hit with me, this really was a great story. Set in a world far, far away where marriages are 'arranged' by magic and one's mate is usually determined when one is very young, the story consists partly of letters written back and forth between William and his 'intended', Tasmin, over the course of the time before they meet and partly of the 'present day', in which William has been framed for murder and Tamsin comes to free him, since she knows from his letters that he's no murderer. Their letters to each other alone are a good enough reason to read the book. They are charming and cleverly written, not only because they subtly reveal the nature of each of the main characters, but also because they evolve through the story, moving along from the first letter William writes as a ...

OK, this will be brief, but this is an issue that really burns me up. I got an email in my Inbox this morning from Wiley-Blackwell, publishers of all sorts of books. I'm on some mailing list they have and get these periodically -- it's basically an ad for news books. I don't mind it, because I love any and all forms of books. Including eBooks. Typically, the actual content of these ads don't interest me enough to click through, but this one caught my eye. So I clicked. I salivated over the Description. I drooled over the Table of Contents. I frowned at the price tag. And then I saw this: Other Available Formats: Adobe E-Book I cheered! I clicked! I had a small myocardial infarction at the price of the E-Book -- which was the same as the fucking hard copy!!! What. The. Hell. Seriously?? You're going to charge me $45 for a fucking computer file ?? GET WITH THE PROGRAM, PEOPLE!!! It costs you almost nothing to produce a PDF file. Yes, OK -- you have to recover the cos...

I'm not even sure I can write a proper blog post anymore. It has been so long -- and I am now so used to teensy missives such as will fit into my Facebook status without generating a nastygram -- that I'm not sure I'm actually capable of anything else. So we shall just have to see how long this lasts... Anyway, Anatomy & Physiology is over. I passed. More importantly, I learned a hell of a lot and feel a lot more confident in my ability to NOT introduce mistakes when I edit medical documents (a huge fear). So that is good. However, I have decided NEVER to take another class during the fall. With NaNo and then the holidays, it's just too nuts. I'm sure I'll have to eat that 'never', if I ever do get into grad school, but for now, when I'm just putzing around doing whatever the hell I want -- Fall is For Fun. Spring is for classes. Except for this spring. Because I need a fucking break after that hellacious fall.... heh... I mean, I really SHOULD t...

Oh, my, has it ever been an age since I posted... well, you know the story. Busy, busy, busy... Anyway, against my better judgement, I'm doing NaNo again this year. But just for the insanity part. :D My villain just did away with her first victim, and I thought I'd share. Enjoy the evil! ************* At first, he thought she’d missed, because he didn’t feel anything. But she wasn't acting like she had missed. She was just sitting there. Watching him. And looking thoughtful. Then he saw something drooping down into his field of vision from above. He could barely see it if he crossed his eyes and looked up, but there appeared to be a miniature dart embedded in his forehead. “What the… what is that?” he asked, his voice sounding far away. Wynonna gave him a thoughtful, assessing gaze that sent chills down his spine. Or maybe that was something in the dart. It was hard to say really. Finally, she answered him. “A prototype.” And that was the last thing he heard before the dar...

Yeah, yeah. It's been a while. I'd launch a volley of excuses, but I don't have time. xD And that's the whole story of late. I've never been so busy in my life. Between kids, work, the official and suprisingly successful launch of the freelance biz, kids' school, my school, etc, etc, writing has suffered. There's a project in the works, but it's slow going. Most nights I have freelance jobs to work on, and by the time I'm done with those, the poor little brain is shot. And I don't even want to talk about my goddamn kitchen sink (which is usually full of dirty dishes that no one but me seems to know what to do with....). Oh, well. My only goal for writing this year, I've decided, is to finish One Thing. Just one single project. Get it done to the point where I would let someone else read it. I'm hoping it's going to be the project I'm working on, but I don't know. It's taking me back to a time in my life that I'd rathe...

Ah, yes, well part of it anyway. Do not be deceived by its present length -- I expect it to expand. (And please feel free to suggest stories, books, tales, sagas, etc. that you loved or have heard were really great.) Anyway, The Plan - and I have to have A Plan, because if left to my own devices, I will read nothing but fantasy - is to alternate a fiction with a non-fiction. Why not just give in and stick with fantasy and nothing but fantasy? Well, I could do that. But I really want to read the non-fiction on my list and in order to do that I have to set up the fiction books as Rewards for reading the non-fiction, because otherwise all the shiny fiction will somehow find its way to the top of the pile and then it will be September and summer will be over and I'll still have a stack of non-fiction sitting there forlornly beckoning... You think I'm kidding? Exhibit No. 1: Let's take the Oliver Sacks book, Uncle Tungsten . I think I bought it at Christmas, which means I...

I know. It's still spring. But my final exam is Monday, which means summer starts for me as soon as I hit "Submit Quiz", get the news, and calculate my final grade. :D And I am So Fucking Sick of cramming my brain full of stuff I have to know, that I have actually formulated a plan to spend all summer cramming it full of stuff I want to know just 'cuz . Specifically, I am talking about Bethanie's Fantastic Summer Reading List . Yaay for summers!! Yaay for reading!! I plan to post The Official List here and check in with it and check things off and comment and review and contemplate and theorize and otherwise generally wallow shamelessly in my neglected and now-towering TBR pile. So. Be looking for the Fantastic List sometime next week and feel free to suggest any Must Reads on your Fantastic Summer (or Other) Reading List in the meantime (since I just know you're sitting there on the edge of your seat with nothing better to do...). And we now return you ...