31 October 2008

Happy New Year

As long time readers will know, I have no religion.

I have never met one that could hold me. The Christians, the Buddhists, the pagans - in one way or another, they all espouse the One True Way, a concept that provokes my brain into instant and utter rebellion. (I will NOT be told what to think. I will NOT be told how to see the world. I will NOT be made to believe without question. And this thing you call 'faith' that you want me to drown myself in? You can shove it.)

And yet I cannot call myself an atheist either.

It's not that I'm waffling or hedging my bets or reserving my right to say 'oh, well, maybe...' at the last minute. I simply don't think you can know one way or the other (which is why, technically, I'm an agnostic, but whatever).

All the same, I have these moments - like when I stumbled across this: Dreaming the Dead. It's a post on Holly Lisle's blog about a dream she had in which someone who died appeared in her dream with a gift. I had goosebumps the whole time I was reading it. It's that cool - go read it yourself. Seriously.

You're back? OK, good.

It's situations like that, when the universe appears to be hopping up and down and waving its arms in your face to get your attention, when it's difficult for me to maintain a totally atheistic world view. Shit like that doesn't happen for no reason. It just doesn't.

What's really giving me goosebumps, however, is the odd parallel going on in my own life at the moment. Nothing popped into (or out of) a dream for me, but unfortunately, there are some very scary rumors running amock right here in Real Life that may have an effect on my job. A really large effect on my job.

So large that, in fact, that I finally got around to shelling out a bunch of money to have my freelance editing business website domain-named, designed and hosted. The very idea of venturing out on my own into the wide, wild world scares the freakin' crap out of me. But it must be done, and it must be done now. My universe, you see, is either rehearsing for a Broadway musical or knocking itself out to get my attention....

Which, believe it or not, brings us back to the title of this post: Happy New Year.

In the comments to the Holly Lisle post, several people commented on the fact that this dream happened quite close to Halloween, and Halloween - if I'm remembering right - is the pagan/Wiccan/whatever New Year. New Year, yanno, out with the old, in with the new? Yeah, that New Year. And this whole situation I've found myself in has that feel -- new beginnings, new adventures, bid the past adieu -- all that .

So in the spirit of moving on with the beginnings and letting go of the endings: Happy New Year!

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2 comments:

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

WOW! YAY! This sounds like a terrific move and definitely making lemonade out of lemons. I wish you tons of success! If there's anything I can help you with, holler.

Bethanie said...

You know, I hadn't thought about the making lemons out of lemonade aspect of it, but I guess that's what I'm doing, huh? Good for me! Now, if I could just stop shaking in my boots.... !