28 March 2009

Drowning

OK, so it's been a while since I last posted. But we are drowning here. Drowing in more ways than one. Drowning in life due to soccer, school events, and life events (we have a family wedding this weekend, so everyone's in town and wants to visit). Drowing in resposibilities at the Evil Day Job, which is getting perpetually stranger every single day...

Oh, yes. And it's raining.

It's been raining all week. We're supposed to have "possibly severe thunderstorms" today (so the wedding won't be outside this afternoon; poor sister-in-law-to-be :( And actually, we get a break from drowning in soccer today, since the fields are closed, which is good since because of the wedding we'd have been running around like crazy all day. This way we're only running around like crazy half the day....)

I don't even want to talk about school - my school - and the test I have tomorrow and how I haven't even read the chapter yet, let alone done any studying...

Writing, needless to say, isn't even on the damn list anymore.

I mean, story-related things occur to me here and there throughout the day and many times throughout the nights that I'm spending half of awake because I can't stop thinking, worrying and otherwise stressing about everything else. But I'm too exhausted and disheartened to bother even jotting them down any more.

So poor Caleb the Supernatural Bank Robber and Pollo the Dragon-Seeker Pirate are on perpetual hold for now. Maybe permanent hold. I don't know. Maybe I'll try again when my class is over in May. But for now, I'm sick of failing to finish anything. I'm sick of the dread in the pit of my stomach I get every time I think about actually working on a story. I'm sick of everything I read about the writing process making me feel totally inadequate. I'm sick of feeling like I've never had an original idea in my life.

It sucks to be a quitter, and I know that, but something has to give and for the moment, it looks like it's going to be writing.

*theatrical sigh*

Well. Off to study for that test, then...

.

4 comments:

soleilnoir said...

"throughout the nights that I'm spending half of awake because I can't stop thinking, worrying and otherwise stressing about everything else."

Oh god. You mean I'm not the only one that does that? Well that's...both sucky and a relief. *hugs* I hate when the personal life gets overwhelming. It can suck all the fun out of writing and anything else you might usually enjoy.

I'd hate to think of you quitting, but I know every once in awhile a break is needed. Personally, you had me at "Supernatural Bank Robber" since I'm such a comic-geek and Piracy is basically what founded the rock I live on. *g* Plus Joely got me into Dragons so, I would love to read more authors' take on them.

But I know how I get when I feel I'm unoriginal. I don't think it's true (especially in your case), but I know how it is. Hopefully you'll take a few days, a few weeks at most and things will fall into place. If you ever need to rant, feel free to e-mail.

T-Bowe said...

T-Bowe: Thank you for taking the time out to write a comment, feel free to drop by any time. My partner in crime doesn't usually do that kind of thing.

For the record tests suck...

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

You're not quitting -- you're merely concentrating on keeping your head above water. Hang in there and keep paddling! You've got a lot of real life things exploding right now, but eventually, your time to write will come, and all these life experiences are happening for a reason.

Bethanie said...

Thanks for the support guys. :) Still bobbing along in the rapids at the moment... Hopefully once my class is done in May, I'll be able to think about writing again.

In the meantime, neurophysiology it is! (*tiny scream* what was i THINKING???!!??)