30 March 2006


We’ll file this one under: Things that Make Me Go ‘Eh?’

So the university I work at has a baseball team. The baseball team has a field. The field has grass. I walk by it every day on my way to and from my cube.

Now I’ve never liked baseball. I just don’t get it. Part of this has to do with the rules and a traumatic, elementary-school-gym-class experience with the rules.

I got out running from first to second base, see, even though I made it to the base before the stupid ball did.

Why? Because some schmuck caught the ball, which meant I wasn’t allowed to run to second base in the first place. No one – and by that I mean the frikkin’ Bruce-Jenner-look-alike gym teacher – bothered to explain this ahead of time. I suppose he assumed that everyone loved baseball and already knew this rule. And apparently, everyone did. Except me.

Add to this that running is about the only school-sports thing I was ever good at – and suddenly I’m being told NOT to do it – and you’ve got one pissed off eight-year-old (or nine-year-old, I don’t quite remember). I actually yelled at the Bruce Jenner clone when he asked me if I understood why I got out. “No!” is all I said, but I think he got the idea that if I had had the vocabulary, he’d have gotten himself cussed out for not explaining things ahead of time (idiot).

The whole affair did very little to endear me to baseball.

One of my grandmothers, on the other hand, loved baseball. I can still see her sitting in her TV room – baseball cap in place, beer in hand (we’re German – everyone drinks beer, even grandmothers), staring intently at the little green diamond on the screen. She would rouse herself frequently to cheer on her team or swear at an umpire (in German, no less). Had she not lived 300 miles away from where I did, I might have had more appreciation for the sport. And, perhaps, I would also have known the rules like everyone else and that whole elementary-school gym trauma thing would never have happened.

Who knows? And more to the point, who cares? None of this has anything to do with the university baseball team and their field and why it makes me go ‘Eh?’.

Which brings me back to the whole purpose of this post:

They have this field. It’s very pretty. It’s very green. It’s very closely and carefully mowed. I’ll bet they pay some guy big, full-time bucks to make sure it stays that way.

Here’s where it gets interesting: Anytime it rains, about 500 big, burly guys materialize out of nowhere and unroll this GI-normous tarp to cover up the grass to keep it from getting rained on.

In other words, to keep it from getting wet.

Here’s the part that makes me go ‘Eh?’:

It’s getting sunny and warm out. Yeah, yeah, quitcher bitchin’, it’s shorts and motorcycle weather south of the M-DL* already. Don’t rub it in. I’m pregnant, remember? This isn’t cause for celebration for me.

Anyways. It’s been sunny and warm out every day this week. Every day this week when I walk by the field on my way to or from my cube, they’ve got sprinklers popped up out of the very green, very carefully mowed grass. They’re watering the field.

In other words, they’re getting it wet. On purpose.



Queen K said...

ARGH!!! I HATE stuff like that - it SO illustrates all that's f'd up with our country. Plus they probably pump the soil full of chemicals to keep it all so green....ugh.

Grandmom watched baseball?!?! Wow!! I had NO clue. That's where I have a disadvantage being the youngest - I just don't have as many memories of the older generations. It's always weird to hear you and Heidi talking about all the folks from that side of the family...I barely remember most of them. And Grandmom I mostly remember yelling at me for stuff. And Grandpop calling me Sugar and slipping me dollar bills when Grandmom had her back turned...hee hee...wish he'd been around longer so I could have been old enough to have a real conversation with him :)

Bethanie said...

Isn't it ridiculous?? And, yes, I'm sure it's chock-full o' chemicals we can't even pronounce. It's a very unnatural shade of green...

Yes, Grandmom LOVED baseball and I don't really know of anyone else in our family who does. Isn't that weird? Well, considering Grandmom, maybe not...!