22 January 2007

Sleep

You take it for granted when you get six or eight (or *gasp* more) hours of sleep on a somewhat regular basis. You know you do. And it's not until it's taken away from you for extended periods of time that you realize how important - indeed, how very vital - it is to your health and sanity.

The Husband had a buddy when we lived Way Out West who joined the Navy and was attempting to become a Navy Seal. Part of the testing (trial?) process was sleep deprivation. They made them do all these tasks and didn't feed them or let them sleep more than a couple of hours at a time for, like, a whole week or something. At the time, I thought, wow, that's pretty tough.

Now I know better.

A week without sleep is for pussies. Sorry boys, but it's true. You go six frikkin' months without sleep and we'll talk about respect for that.

So, yeah, Ms. Baby doesn't sleep worth a crap. Why do you ask?

Seriously, I don't know how she does it. The handout we got from her pediatrician at her four-month check-up said that 'most babies will sleep through the night at four months of age'. I laughed out loud. Even if you define 'through the night' as six hours in a row, we're nowhere close to that. At most - at most - she'll go three hours at a time at night. And this is after having three, maybe on a good day four, hours worth of 20-minute-at-a-time naps (the handout says 'four to six hours of naps'. Right. Please.). And very often - like every night for the last week - she's woken up at 1 or 2 or 3AM like it's time to be up for the day -- eyes wide open, cooing and playing with her feet. When she realizes that no one else feels like playing, she proceeds to scream about it for an hour before finally, fitfully, falling back asleep.

She should have big, black circles under her eyes. She should be cranky and yawning all day long.

Oh no, wait. That's us, her woeful parents.

And before anyone starts with the 'maybe-you-should-try': It makes no difference whether or not I have caffiene (breastfeeding, remember?). It makes no difference whether or not we give her Tylenol or ibuprofen or Hyland's Teething Tablets or a bath at bedtime or anything else we can think of. And trust me, we've tried everything.

My guess? She just thinks sleep is for pussies.

3 comments:

Queen K said...

Yep - some kids are just LIKE THAT. Little rat bastards. On the other hand they are often lovely children for most of the rest of their lives, so it might be a good payoff in the end.

Have you actually tried the catnip tea, or are you just pretending?!? Hee hee - you KNEW I couldn't help throwing ONE thing in...I agree it probably won't fix such a rotten habit.

Leslie said...

GI Jane? I mean, Mr. Helmet will make sure her head looks good when shaved...

Bethanie said...

K - no, haven't tried the catnip tea. too tired to remember and order it...

L - yeah, she's gonna show 'dem boys a thing 'r two...