God Fucking Dammit!

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Apologies for that name in vain thing. Apologies for the four letter word thing. Apologies for nothing else.

I. Am. Pissed.

Ms. Six is sick. AGAIN. AGAIN!

She puked all night and is now running a scary-high fever. I have calls in to all known RNs in the family. And I have calls in to all mothers and mothers-in-law. And I have calls in to her pediatrician. And...

Wait just a fucking second.

Didn't we JUST fucking go through this, like, two weeks ago??!??!!!

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did.

Fucking. A.

WHY does this keep happening? WHY are my kids CONSTANTLY sick?

If this were happening to me, I'd be taking it as a sure sign that something in my life was out of balance and that I needed to change it. So am I being a horrible mother? A horrible housekeeper? Am I feeding them horribly wrong? Am I horrible person for working and not staying home so I can keep them out of daycare where every nasty fucking germ on the fucking planet seems to hang out?

GGGrrrrrrarrrahhh!

Who knows. Maybe childhood illnesses are not subject to philisophical meaderings and I should just suck it the fuck up.

.

Comments

Susan Helene Gottfried said…
No, you're not horrible in any way, shape, or form. In fact, by having her in day care, you've exposed her to many germs and gotten a number of the usual illnesses over with early.

As for why she's in this cycle, who knows? It's some sort of evil karma at work. And evil karma can, of course, be reversed by practicing lots and lots of good karma.

And feeding Ms. Six lots of Stonyfield yogurt. My kids LOVE the Yo Kids squeezable stuff. Yogurt seems to help boost immunity. (at least, it seems to help boost mine and there seem to be studies that say the same thing. About study subjects, not about me.)

Hang in there. And vent all you want; sometimes, it's all that keeps us sane.
13:01
Anonymous said…
Yeah, yeah - quit blaming yourself. It's bad enough to have to deal with it - don't compound it by infusing it with meaning it simply doesn't have. Kids get sick. Sometimes a lot. It's a pain in the ass for all involved, but it is absolutely not your fault. Trust me on this.
20:20
Joely Sue Burkhart said…
Bless your heart! Sometimes it just happens and the kids are sick, back to back, and it feels like it will never end. We finally had Middle Monster's tonsils out last fall (one year this month, actually) and as a result, she only missed 1 day of school last year. That is *huge* for her. She was getting strep every few weeks and terribly ill each time. Same kid had the highest fever I've ever seen: 105.7. I was scared to death. I didn't even know thermometers would go that high!!! Hugs and hang in there!
22:06
Bethanie said…
Thanks a lot, ladies. I know I'm beating myself up for no reason (and having a massive pity party to boot), but I can't seem to help it. I'm so EXHAUSTED by one illness after another after another. :( She is better today, but we had some real weirdness last night where she was hallucinating (her fever had spiked, though not all that high). She starts school Monday, so here's hoping she'll be over it by then.

Susan - Stoneyfield Farm rocks! Especially since it's made in my home state!

Ms CP - I know you're right. I do. Sometimes I let the working-mom-guilt thing get to me too much, I guess.

Joely - 105.7!??!!? Damn, that is scary. Ms Six's was as high as 104.3 yesterday and I was shaking all over...
11:31
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